5th Entry: My Silly Writing Style and I

No rules, no style...

I don't care if they say that I should not use too many ellipses or fix my way of twisting words...

I am a silly writer...

A clumsy one..

But I'm glad that I am...

When I was still in high school, I have always wanted to take up something that is related to writing in college. Maybe take journalism or literature or anything like that. Still, I ended up in a course that I've never dreamed of.

Learning nowadays seems forced to me. It was something that I do not for myself but for money. I will study so that I would get a good job. That's what they always tell me so I absorbed it. But even with this way of thinking, I still wanted to do what I love the most. To write...

I realized that I don't have that much of a talent. I don't have the style that readers would actually love. I have my own sense of sensationalism in creating my fictions. It was sometimes too much that my characters haunt me or control me.

I don't use the proper way of composing a sentence or count my words when making a poem. I would rather be a writer who will take a step outside the usual and yet, still be loved. I wonder how long it would take me to be that person.

My words are twisted, my friends noticed that I often forget my English 101. I don't really care. Sometimes I am so stubborn that I would only realize my mistakes when I read the story a few days later. It was frustrating, but at the same time it was fun. Frustrating because you know that it was a mistake, but fun because people think that it was art.

In time, I appreciated my own works. Though I know that there are still people who criticizes my work. I don't think about them too much. There are times that even my long time readers and friends wouldn't understand the things that I want to say but I would be glad to explain.

Happy...this is how I feel. I'm not the type of person who would follow the rules as they were. I would never break it, I'll just twist a knot and go on. I was glad that I did not take literature or journalism even if I know that I would learn so many things. It's just not like me to follow how a story was supposed to be written. Or how a sentence should be composed. Even locals would make a mistake in speaking their own language. I don't even speak my language that well. There would be no freedom if I do as they told me. A person like me is not like that.

 

For me, writing a story or just plain writing something is creating a new world. A world where I am the heroine, or I am the villain. In that world, I would have my fate as I like it. There's nothing bad with fantasizing.

Sometimes I even think that I am crazy or sick because I get lost in my own world many times. A slip from reality. It was a gift. An automatic switch that brings me to a reality where I can do anything.

I may be silly, I may be new. But I am who I am...and I would stay as I am. 

 

Love,
Mavie